Beach and Sand
by x-Wabisuke-x
Summary: Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp are alone on a beach for the night, and Sanji has an idea. ZoSanUso threesome. Major Slash. M for a reason.
1. Beach and Sand

The light appeared a dull yellow at the edge of the trees where he could see the soil turning to stand. It had taken him all day, but he'd finally found the beach again.

Sunny was anchored and bobbing on the soft sunset lit waves a few hundred yards from shore. The Mini-Merry was hauled up and crooked in the sand a few yards from the water's edge. There was a leg with a brown boot hanging over the edge, and Zoro rolled his eyes because Usopp had probably worn himself out playing with Luffy.

The majority of the crew was nowhere in sight, but in the opposite direction to Usopp's napping space, Zoro spotted a yellow-topped figure in black pants sitting in the sand.

Sanji tilted his head back and exhaled slowly, watching the smoke drift from his lips and toward the pink sky. He'd seen a lot of sunsets, both something and nothing to behold, and memorized the vast extent of colors that could appear in them.

When you're stranded on a desert rock in the middle of nowhere, it's hard not to see the sunset over and over again. When you're doing nothing but watching the horizon for passing ships, you don't miss a minute of it. Sanji understood the cliché trend among artists to paint a sunset, very few other things in this world could make you forget the pain of starvation's brink, just for a moment or two, as something extraordinary graced the sky.

They made him a little bit sad, because back then another sunset meant another day passed, another day closer to the end.

This one wasn't the most impressive, but he smiled as he watched the dark silhouette of the Thousand Sunny rock against it. Since all those years ago, it was nice to see one from a secure place, with the knowledge that everything was already all right.

All right, that is, until a sick, smelly body of heavy black fur falls into your lap.

"You guys all already ate, right?" The familiar voice of a walking-dead Neanderthal. "Do something with that for me, I don't need anything fancy."

"Like hell!" Sanji barked, and shoved the disgusting thing off of him. There was blood… blood… _pig's blood on his white shirt!_ He flailed and slapped at it with his hand, trying to get it off like he would a caterpillar crawling on him, but only succeeded in getting his fingers sticky and red.

"Damn it!" He scoffed, and wiped his hand in the sand. "Bastard." He barked, because he knew the idiot marimo did that on purpose. Zoro wouldn't have denied it, either. "Cook it yourself." He shot up from where he was sitting. "Caveman use pea-brain. Make fire." He waved his arms around, shouting what Zoro interpreted as nonsense as he walked away to change his shirt before the ladies came back.

"I've been out all day trying to catch that. Haven't eaten." Zoro said. "I'm pretty hungry."

Sanji turned on his heel and raced back to shout into Zoro's face. "Don't think that shit's gonna work on me! Like I give a shit whether _you_ starve!"

Sanji watched cheeks contract and turn just a little red after a very loud and unflattering noise came from his abdomen. After an awkward pause, Sanji stepped back, and sighed out a gust of smoke.

"Christ." He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Sit on your ass and weight patiently." Sanji, on reflex though the shirt was already ruined, started to roll up his sleeves passed his elbows. "Cooking twice in one day without my tools or my kitchen…" He grumbled. Zoro thought about barking an insult, something about a whiny, bitchy dartbrow, but decided not to fearing the expense would be not eating.

Actually, Zoro knew vaguely how to cook up a dead animal to keep his energy up. You don't get by on your own from island to island in the East Blue by having no knowledge of how to start a fire or how long to roast a chunk of meat before it was edible. But the cook was a cook, and out of habit, or maybe out of pride, he always brought out a nice flavor in whatever he got his hands on. Zoro was in the mood for something good.

Not considering that he may have been following his rivals orders, Zoro sat in the sand, legs crossed, and watched and waited for it to be finished.

All the shitty cook had were a few tools and supplies he'd brought out on the ship, along with a few bottled seasonings- or maybe poison for all Zoro knew, and the fire he'd lit with the same lighter used for his constant cigarette. But within a half hour or so, there was a delicious smell resonating from the direction of those flames. Zoro started to impatiently clap the souls of his feet together. A habit he must've picked up from Luffy.

As if he'd gotten a whiff all the way down the beach, Zoro watched Usopp lift his head, and sniffed the air with his gargantuan nose. He looked around through tired eyes, spotted Sanji and Zoro near the fire, and suddenly his face it up and he hopped to his feet.

"Sanji!" He shouted as he ran down the beach, waving his arm above his head. "What are you making now?" He hit his knees next to the fire and shut his eyes to inhale the scent.

"Just some variation of bacon." Sanji wasn't sure exactly what species of boar was over his fire. "Want some?" He offered.

"Oi cook, don't give away my food!" Zoro shouted.

"Yeah, I'll take some!" Both the sniper and his potential target-practice dartboard ignored the swordsman. Zoro scoffed, and stuck out his bottom lip, because he was hungry and prepared to eat like Luffy and now he had to share?

o-o-o-o-o-o

Sanji sighed audibly for the fifth time, and Usopp finally scoffed and looked at him, wondering what the hell his problem was.

"What?" He huffed, reluctant to even ask. The night sky was gorgeous on this island- he could see so much, and he was in the process of trying to record it on paper along with the Sunny's shadow on the sea. But he couldn't concentrate when Sanji kept releasing those damn depressing sounds.

"Nami-swan and Robin-chwan still aren't back." Sanji whined, and Usopp rolled his eyes because he'd already had a feeling that was the issue. Nevermind that Luffy, Chopper, Franky and Brook weren't back either.

"Had I known they'd be gone this long I would've said to hell with cleaning up after dinner and gone with them."

"For all we know they found a town and are staying in a hotel, safe and sound." Usopp said, trying to get back to his drawing. Then he thought about his own words and stabbed his colored pencil into the sand. "SHIT! I should have gone with them!" He hung his head.

Sanji rolled his eyes as he sat up, and looked around. "Hey, where's that shitty swordsman?" He mused.

"Lost, probably." Usopp looked over his shoulder as well. "I hope he's okay…" Usopp was definitely wishing Zoro was here now. He couldn't believe the situation hadn't set in sooner! This was not only the Grand Line, but an uninhabited coastline, and here he was with no shelter and…

Oh right, the Mini-Merry and the Sunny were right there.

"Damn it." Sanji cursed. "We can't head back to the ship without that idiot or he'll have no way of getting there." He sighed, tapping his toes together as he dug his heels into the sand.

"I'm sure he'd be just find sleeping on the beach." Usopp snorted, scribbling blotches of black into his dark blue sky.

"Hey, Usopp." Sanji sat up. "You draw a lot."

Usopp paused, looked back at him, and then shrugged. "I guess." He went back to making strokes.

Sanji paused, watching him carefully for a few moments. "I found your folder of sketches. I looked at all of them."

A shiver ran up Usopp's spine at those words, and his teeth immediately clenched together. If he saw those drawings… shit, Sanji would never understand the reason Usopp drew certain things…! Usopp didn't even fully understand why! No one was supposed to see most of those!

"I should kick your ass for drawing Nami-san and Robin-chan without any clothes on." He said this as a drip of blood trickled down his upper lip. Usopp was still frozen in time… of all the things Sanji could get pissed about, the ones of Nami and Robin were the least of Usopp's worries.

"A few of the others were interesting." Sanji went on, wiping his nose. "Though inaccurate in some ways, but it's not your fault." He shrugged. "I guess it's a good thing you don't know what my dick looks like and can't draw it correctly."

Usopp hiccupped, and felt that he was on the verge of a heart attack.

"Also, I don't think Zoro's is as big as you drew it…" Sanji protested. For a few short moments during which Usopp still thought he was going to be killed, he stayed frozen and there was silence. Then, after they passed, and it finally registered how calm Sanji was actually being about it. Maybe… because he was a cook, and that was an art, Sanji understood. Maybe Usopp wasn't about to die…

"It is." Usopp strained out. "It was an accident, but I saw…" He trailed off.

"Why don't you ever draw yourself?" Sanji asked, apparently content with changing the subject now. Usopp watched his hand start to shake, and he started only pretending he was still drawing just to occupy himself. He wasn't used to this kind of seriousness on the subject of his art… it was just a side-hobby…

"I don't know." Usopp shrugged. "I just never thought to draw myself."

"…I see." Sanji leaned back on his hands, thinking only that that seemed incredibly out of character for someone who generally seemed like he was at least trying desperately to be very proud and fond of himself. But maybe art is just that honest, somewhat like cooking once you get the hang of it.

"Hey, Usopp…" Sanji wasn't sure how many moments had passed since the last time he'd spoken. He didn't care. Usopp didn't make a sound, but he stopped his pencil movements, and lifted his head only slightly. "Have you ever been kissed?"

Usopp immediately flipped the page in his sketchbook and started scribbling in his frustration, perhaps part of him trying to make it appear like he was suddenly VERY busy drawing.

"Ahaha, of course!" He said. "Lots of times. I was a famous hero in my village, you know. Don't get jealous, Sanji-kun, but I really had my pick of the girls back there…"

"Liar." Sanji snickered, and Usopp deflated. But it wasn't like he expected Sanji to believe him…

"Why are you asking me?" Usopp sighed, slowly turning back to his old page to finish.

Sanji took a drag, and let a stream of smoke drift from his lips and rise toward the star-sprinkled sky. "No reason…" His eyes flicked to the sniper's ear where his curly hair swept over the top. "Do you want to kiss me?"

"…I, well…"

"Just be honest."

"I do- I mean, I did!" Usopp tried to correct himself one more time but all that came out was a squeak, and then he just shut his mouth and looked down.

"I'm not mad." Sanji took a drag. "If you want to, you can."

"I-I…" Usopp stuttered. "I only want to if you want to." He managed to say. His hands were shaking and his throat was dry, and the butterflies that built up in his stomach made it hard to move or focus.

"What if Zoro were here?" Sanji inched closer. "If it was both of us, which one would you rather kiss?"

Usopp snorted, and knew he shouldn't even have been surprised by the idea of Sanji turning this into a vs. Zoro competition.

"Probably… you…" Usopp couldn't believe how honest he was being. "Zoro is… attractive… but the one I like is…" He sucked in his breath because shit, he hadn't meant to say it that way.

"Me?" Sanji placed too fingers on the side of Usopp's jaw and turned his face toward him. "Usopp, we're all nakama, you don't have to be afraid to confess your sexuality."

Usopp's face turned beat red. "I-I'm not gay! I just…! I only drew the others like that because I felt like it… I normally like girls, but…"

"But you would fuck Zoro too, right?"

Sanji's lips were nearly touching his, and Usopp swallowed at the harsh vocabulary that somehow sent sparks to his groin.

"If he wanted you that badly?" Sanji went on.

"I-I guess…" Usopp could probably say the same for Nami, Robin, and Franky as well. As long as they initiated it and everything, he'd have a hard time saying no. But he never thought it was possible, but now Sanji was- wait a minute, this had to be a dream.

"Damn it." He cursed.

"What?" Sanji was confused.

"I'm dreaming. I figured it out this time, all right?" He huffed, and shouted toward the sky. "Can someone wake me up already, I-,"

Sanji grabbed his head and turned him to face him. "This isn't a dream." Sanji said harshly. "Usopp, listen." Usopp swallowed, wondering if was he was being told could possibly be true. No way, Sanji was acting too weird, there was no way it was real.

"You and I are going to make out on this beach. I'll probably take some of your clothes off and touch you and it'll be _hot as hell_… and maybe we'll get a little further than that, but sooner or later the Marimo is going to come back from his extra long piss break, and he's going to join us."

Usopp was long since gaining an erection, but that whole speech drove things up a few notches.

He was only coherent enough for one more question, which was good because any more than that and Sanji was just going to knock him out and molest him until he came to. "What if Zoro doesn't w-want to…" He stuttered because Sanji's hand was on his inner thy and what the _fuck_ was it doing there they hadn't even started kissing yet…

"He will." Was all Sanji said, and then Usopp's back was in the sand, legs spread apart with Sanji's abdomen in between them, pressing him hard against the ground, and something else was clearly hard as well.

Sanji's tongue plunged deep into his mouth, and all Usopp could do was try to keep up. With Sanji's movements, his own thoughts, and his own goddamn libido at the same time. Am arm slipped around underneath his shoulder and a hand down his body to press up against the small of his back, forcing his lower half off the ground. Once elevated, Sanji wedged himself more thoroughly between Usopp's legs.

Usopp was wrong about Sanji. Not completely off, but the thing nudging it's way between his ass through his pants was… well, bigger than he'd drawn it. Not that he was disappointed, though he had always imagined Sanji's to be more impressive in proportions and general appearance than size.

Still, it was hard, and at this rate on the verge of entering him through the fabrics of both their clothes. Usopp always knew Sanji was a horn ball but he thought things might be different when it actually came down to it AND if he did anything else with that goddamn mouth of his Usopp was going to explode!

"WAIT." Usopp found his forehead and pressed his palm against it to shove him back.

Sanji's tongue was still out, and it wiggled ever so slightly in the direction of Usopp's collarbone where it had been dancing with lips suckling before. He was still trying to catch his breath when Sanji's eyes flicked up to his face lacking in much amusement.

He gave Usopp two more seconds. "Don't want to." He took hold of each of Usopp's overall straps with both hands and yanked them down over his shoulders to reveal-

"CUT IT OUT!" Usopp used both his hands and flattened his palms against Sanji's face to hold him back. But he only had these two arms and those other two arms that weren't his were traveling into dangerous places. "Sanji!" He moaned. "Please, wait, I-,"

He was surprised when everything actually stopped. Nothing was removed, the one hand that had inched down the side of his overalls was still cupped around his ass and the other was still at his side with the thumb dangerously close to his nipple, but they weren't moving.

"What?" Sanji huffed behind the hands pressed against his face, fingers which he was about ready to bite off. Slowly, warily, Usopp drew his hands back so he could see the cook's face again, his now disheveled fringe of hair and his one vibrant blue eye, illuminated by the flickers of the fire.

"You're just…" He felt like crying, though he couldn't explain why. "…too fast."

Sanji shifted innocently to become more comfortable in this predicament, but his breath caught in his throat as at the way his erection rolled against the ass it was already thoroughly lodged against.

"So you're a virgin?" He said with all the composure he could muster.

"As if!" Usopp barked, erupting up and scooting his hips forward until he was more straddling Sanji's lap than underneath him. "I've just never done it this way and it's never been so…" He ground his teeth, searching for the words as he glared into that one annoyingly captivating blue eye.

Sanji smirked as Usopp's anger deterred. "Wild?" He offered with a slight growl, and rolled his hips within the notes of the word.

Usopp gasped, and had to look away as the breath came out in a whine. He raised a hand and gripped Sanji's forearm helplessly as hands started to push the lower half of his overalls further down.

"Sorry." Sanji's lips brushed his ear. "I'll slow down." He nuzzled, and Usopp wanted to snort sarcastically because to hell with slow when in a few seconds this cook was going to have him completely naked on this beach and-

"By the way." Sanji's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Since about a minute ago or so, a marimo has been watching." He said, none too quietly. Usopp let those words sink in and immediately burst out with a squeak and yanked and whipped his head around every which way to find-

And there he was, gaping with a look that was only a little less horrified and disgruntled than Usopp would have expected.

Sanji looked as well, turning his head casually to the side to see over his shoulder. "What's your problem, moss-for-brains?" He called. "Took you long enough."

Zoro snapped out of it. "Shitty dartboard eyebrow perverted cook!" He strung together some of his best as he shouted at the top of his lungs across the beach. "What the hell are you doing with…" He looked to Usopp and his eyes narrowed considerably.

Sanji sighed, and leaned back on his hands to tilt his head backward and look at Zoro that way. In this position Usopp got a very good view of his neck and was faced with how much he wanted to bite and lick it, but he was a little worried about taking his eyes off the death glare he was receiving from Zoro.

"Jealous?" Sanji accused. "And even after we talked about this…"

"T-talked…" Usopp gaped.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING." Zoro shouted. "I didn't know you had a fetish for the long-nose!"

"You _are_ jealous." An amused grin played across Sanji's face and bent his head back to face forward so Usopp could see it. "And come on…" Sanji slipped a hand behind Usopp's back and it traveled up his neck under the fingers tangled in his curls. He nudged Usopp's head a little closer, grinning like a bastard back at Zoro as their eyelashes touched. "Don't tell me this doesn't turn you on…"

"Why the hell would I be jealous and why would a couple of beach perverts turn me on!" Zoro said that but even from the distance his face was clearly turning redder.

"S-Sanji…" Usopp swallowed. This was not only and incredibly uncomfortable position to be in in front of Zoro, but the idea of Zoro joining them wasn't that comforting either. Sexy as hell, he couldn't deny, especially if Sanji was going to be in the middle, but also a little terrifying if he stopped to allow some reason.

"Pretending isn't like you." Sanji ignored Usopp and called back to Zoro. "But suit yourself." He removed his hands from Usopp and began unbuttoning his own shirt. Slowly, and Usopp's eyes widened more and more every time a button was plucked from its hole. When Sanji got to one of the center ones, something caught in his throat and he was finding it very hard to breath.

It was then that Sanji stopped, and leaned back on his hands, the flaps if his shirt coming apart and revealing enough to make Usopp's breath hitch.

"Do the rest." He was told softly, almost in a mumble, and Usopp's hands didn't waste time lifting to the next button and it was undone before he knew he was moving. Sanji kept that one eye fixed intently on his face as he went through the rest, eyes carefully trained on them because his fingers were shaking under that gaze.

He got to the last few, didn't even notice how heavy his breath had become at the sight of so much of Sanji's pale skin, and realized that the shaking in his hands was making it almost impossible to get the last one undone.

He noticed movement, something Sanji was doing probably, from the corner of his eye but he was too focused on that damn button to really care and then…

His hands were knocked away by larger, rougher ones, and in the same beat they wrapped into fists around each hem of the shirt and ripped it apart so the remaining buttons snapped.

"Oi!" Sanji was glaring daggers upward, as Zoro loomed over him, pressed up against him from behind. "I liked this shirt." He growled. "Usopp was doing just fine."

"He was too slow." Zoro scoffed, cut off the next protest with his mouth slanted against the cook's and his hands raking up and down his chest. Usopp watched those hands, and swallowed. They seemed to know the terrain they were treading, and he didn't like that. Like they'd been there before and were going over the same delicious feel of that smooth skin for umpteenth time. It seemed evident that Zoro and Sanji had done this before… but how often? How did they hide it so well?

Usopp felt a tinge of jealousy toward the swordsman, especially by the way Sanji was appearing to melt underneath his touches.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Zoro's hands wrapped roughly around his wrists and yanked them out of their stiffened state to press his palms against Sanji's torso. His limp fingers curled clumsily against the warm skin and Sanji flinched a little like they were could and unexpected, but then relaxed and moaned into Zoro's mouth.

Driven by Zoro's encouragement, Usopp put his determined face on and let his hands roam wherever they wanted to, and it wasn't long before his eyes flicked down to the trail of blond hair that started below his navel and disappeared behind the button of his black pants.

"Slutty cook." He heard Zoro growl and looked up to find his mouth dragging down Sanji's neck.

Sanji spoke between pants. "Bastard, if Usopp wasn't sitting on my legs my foot would be in your mouth." His hand was buried in Zoro's hair and he started rocking his hips up into Usopp's.

Zoro scoffed, but didn't try to back himself up any further. Instead, he looked at Usopp, who was mindlessly rolling his thumbs just beneath Sanji's nipples as he watched the two of them.

"If you're just going to sit there and stare you might as well not even be involved." Zoro commented. But it wasn't helping Usopp's frozen-state when Zoro's hands went for that dark grey button that he'd been eyeing earlier.

He watched Sanji watch Zoro's hands and the way he tugged on the hand that was curled around the back of Zoro's neck to urge him on as Zoro carefully slide his fingers between the fabrics and nudged them apart to strain the button against the slit. Usopp swallowed, vaguely aware of Sanji's tongue fondling Zoro's earrings.

When the button snapped open, he heard Sanji sigh, and when he lifted his head he found himself once again having met Sanji's eyes.

He was still stuck in awe-struck mode when Sanji shoved Zoro's hands away from him, leaving Zoro looking mildly peeved and reached for Usopp's face. Usopp eyed the hand as it came toward him, expecting to be grabbed by the neck but yelped when it closed hard around his nose and pulled him forward.

"Do you want to do this or not?" Sanji's hand was on his thigh, trailing inward. "Because you're definitely not getting out of this without at least masturbating, even if you ran away."

"I don't want to run away." Usopp felt his face heat up as Sanji's fingers slipped along the unwelcome fabric that covered his erection. "I… just…" He couldn't take control, especially not now that Zoro was there. But he was a man, and he couldn't admit it, not out loud.

"I want to fuck you." Sanji leaned closer, and whispered in his ear, so quietly that Zoro probably didn't hear it.

Usopp shuddered under those words, that breath, the teeth that enclosed around his ear. "Do what you want then." Usopp answered, cringing as Sanji started to push him onto his back again.

Usopp's naked upper-half landed in the sand and he sunk into it more as he squirmed underneath Sanji's hand. Zoro made his move and got back into it as well, crawling over Sanji and kissing his way down his back as he pulled his shirt the rest of the way off.

At the same time, Sanji was working at getting the rest of Usopp's over-alls off, and didn't waste time doing things one at a time. He took his boxers with them, dragging them over his ass in the back first when he lifted his hips.

He didn't know he was naked until he saw his entire wardrobe crumple in the sand beside them. His breath picked up and he looked down at his exposed—everything, just in time to find Sanji's hand wrapped around the base.

He clenched his teeth and shut his eyes tightly as it closed around him, moaning at almost the same time Sanji did.

Zoro had long since shoved the cook's pants down and gotten a hand around him, and he'd been waiting for access to Usopp's as well. Sanji only got a few strokes in on the sniper before Zoro shoved him forward hard, pressing his hips hard against his ass and knocking Sanji's hand away from Usopp's cock. Sanji had to use both arms to hold himself above Usopp as he felt Zoro gathering his and Usopp's lengths together in one of his huge hands.

"Zo-ro…" Sanji tried, but he didn't know if he was protesting or encouraging. He could feel the swordsman's erection prodding his ass through those thin pants he wore.

Sanji had lied to Usopp. He knew Zoro's dick was _that_ big, maybe even bigger than in the drawing and he'd known it for a while, he just fucking hated admitting it.

Usopp was a moaning mess beneath him, curls spread out around his moon-lit skin like a dark frame. Sanji's breath increased and his excitement rose when Usopp started rolling his hips into Zoro's hand, hard so their balls rubbed one another. He leaned down fast to take the sniper's mouth in his, and Usopp wasted no time giving back to the kiss. Their tongues tangled, but it wasn't long before Sanji figured Zoro was probably feeling neglected.

He pulled away from Usopp, who whined in protest to the point where Sanji was almost inclined to return to him, but continued to sit up until he was standing on his knees. He pressed his body back into Zoro's holding one hand on the back of the swordsman's head as their mouths crushed together.

Usopp stroked himself, arm thrown over his eyes in embarrassment or just for the hell of it- he didn't know which. He almost sub-consciously began to spread his legs, because he was aching. It had never been this strong before- hardly even existed, but he wanted to be filled, to be fucked, he needed Sanji inside him and didn't have any shame left to get in the way of that.

Moments later, he felt the beginning of his wish pressing experimentally against his opening, carefully, as if to make sure Usopp wasn't going to freak out. Instead, he arched his hips for encouragement, and Sanji could feel that the marimo behind him had freed himself as well and was being nudged for entrance.

He'd never done this before, and to be honest he wasn't sure if he could do both at once without passing out, and neither Usopp nor the shitty swordsman were being very patient for him.

He grit his teeth, and started to push carefully inside the body underneath him, hoping to get going that way before-

Zoro's head was inside him. He through his head back hard, and screamed, because he was already half-way inside Usopp and that felt amazing and now- he had a fleeting hope that the girls were very, very far away. Usopp was squirming, clearly wanting him to move, and Zoro was clinging to him from behind as if asking to go further.

Sanji needed to wait, just a second, regardless of how Zoro's breath was begging him against his back or how Usopp had a hand on his thigh now begging him to move. It was too fucking _much_ and he just needed one second.

He through his head back again, this time too shocked to make any sound when Zoro moved his hips forward, burying himself further in Sanji's ass. But it made Sanji's hips move forward as well, which put Sanji almost balls-deep inside Usopp.

"P-please…" Usopp sounded almost as desperate as he felt. "M-move…" he begged. Sanji gathered every ounce of coherence he had left, because this was Usopp's first time and like hell was he going to fuck it up because he may have taken on too much at once. Like hell he did, he was Black Leg Sanji!

He was forced onto his hands and knees by Zoro who had his arms wrapped tightly around his waist like a horny dog as he thrusted in and out of him. Ironically, Sanji growled, because apparently the shitty bastard felt content just going at it like always without considering his other engagement. Sanji took care to keep his pace steady with Usopp, and for just a few moments he was concentrating so hard that he almost forgot how good it felt and then-

Zoro hit him right on the spot, and he screamed again, eyes welling up with tears. In seconds he was going to come…

It was Zoro's hand wrapped around Usopp's cock, as Sanji was probably forced to put all his concentration into the way he was hitting Usopp what with all of his current responsibilities. He could definitely hear Sanji's breath the loudest, could see his arms shaking as if they were going to give out any second. Zoro was getting faster and so was Sanji and Usopp couldn't keep himself from reaching up and wrapping his arms around the cook's neck because he _needed_ something to hold on to and-

He didn't know who came a split second first, Sanji or himself, but before he knew it he spilled into Zoro's hand, and he could feel Sanji doing the same inside him. He didn't hear anything, but he was sure he'd cried out, and he hadn't heard Sanji's either, which was disappointing but he was too far gone to catch it. Zoro was last, because Usopp caught his cry, and he was the last to collapse, leaving Usopp on the bottom of a mostly-naked dog pile.

Minutes past, full of heavy breath and lack of strength to say anything. Well, at least that was probably the case with Sanji and himself, Zoro was probably sleeping. He scoffed at the thought, and lifted a hand to tangle it in Sanji's hair.

"You okay?" Sanji asked between breaths, and Usopp snorted.

"Of course I am, this is the great me we're talking about." He mumbled, and then flicked his eyes to what he could see of Sanji's face with concern. "Are you?" Sanji was pretty superhuman in general, and Usopp wasn't that experienced… but doing both at once must've been exhausting.

"That was awesome." Sanji didn't exactly answer, but that reply was good enough as one.

"Yeah…" Usopp sighed dreamily and Zoro grunted as well, as if to agree in his full or half-asleep state, who knew. He was beginning to wish he'd get off already though, that guy was heavy as hell. Then again, Sanji seemed pretty okay with it.

Usopp swallowed. "Hey." He started. "…What…" He was beginning to feel very tired, and his eyes started to drift shut. "…What happens now?" Would they do this again? Would they pretend it never happened? Most importantly, what exactly was Sanji's relationship with Zoro, and would Usopp be able to win him over?

He didn't get an answer before he dozed off.

o-o-o-o

**A/N- Someone needs to take all the keyboards away from me.**

**I don't even know. Part of me is ashamed of this, another part of me likes it. The whole situation is just insanely OOC to the point where I want to just make it a crazy dream that Usopp had… but I also think that would be really lame.**

**In the end… I'm just a crazy pervert and don't look at me. But if you enjoyed this insanity at all, then I'm glad. I guess.**

**But still, don't look at me.**

**On the plus side I'm happy that I wrote some really detailed, raunchy smut, because I haven't done that in ages. And this threesome maybe all kinds of impossible from a non-crack-headed point of view, but I still think it's hot as fuck, so I'm glad my first major sex scene in a while was this. Mostly I just like writing Usopp getting down and dirty.**

**Nevermind. Just go… read something else. Or review I like those.**


	2. Swordsmen and Sharpshooters

Usopp didn't know what he was doing. Every evening after dinner he pep-talked himself into talking to Sanji, trying to discuss what happened between them that day. He'd stroll down toward the galley with confidence in his manly steps until he could hear the sound of water running. He'd imagine Sanji washing dishes, with the bubbles up to his elbows and still wearing one of those stupid aprons. Sometimes Sanji would hum, or even sing, and though he might've been embarrassed to find someone listening, his voice was beautiful.

That voice might've been the first thing he fell for, the first thing that turned his value toward his friend into something different. When Sanji hit certain notes, especially when he was singing but even in speech, Usopp felt like he was going to melt. It was easily a voice he wanted to hear everyday for the rest of his life, and that's where it started.

By the time he got to the open door of the galley, his confidence had once again disappeared, and he was once again left shaking under the weight of all the ways Sanji could still reject him.

The cook had come onto him that night on the beach- it happened so fast and thinking back, he didn't know if Sanji was even sober. But they'd done it, and Zoro was involved as well. But that's the part that scared Usopp the most.

Sanji wouldn't do anything to deliberately hurt him, Usopp trusted him to that. But what if Sanji didn't understand, didn't know how deep and how strong his feelings were. What if… Zoro and Sanji were actually in love, and Sanji had just invited Usopp out of a whim because he thought it would be fun.

If that was the case, Usopp didn't want to ask. He didn't want to get in the way, and it would hurt but he'd force himself to forget. He didn't want Sanji to feel bad because he wasn't straight-forward enough with his feelings. The problem was, what if he was wrong? What if it was just sex through and through and maybe, if he asked, Sanji would give him a chance for more?

He didn't know how to say it. Didn't know how to ask without sounding jealous, or without sounding like he looked at Zoro right now as competition because the truth was he _did_. But it wasn't like he could compete against _that._ Maybe if he was a woman… yeah, then it would probably be easy.

So every night he ran the words over in his head, found new ways to lead into the conversation, and headed for the galley thinking "I'm going to say it this time!" And every night he'd end up standing just outside the doorway, back against the wall, just listening. Listening to the splashes, to Sanji hum, or sing, or make little irritated comments when something jabbed his finger or when he dropped a dish.

He held his face in his hand. He was a coward. And this time, it wasn't his friends on the line, in fact they would probably be better off if he didn't face his fears. The only things on the line were the things he wanted, and as badly as he wanted them… he couldn't man up for this. Why did he feel like facing a hoard of sea kings would have been so much easier than facing his nakama and asking a simple question, when the worst thing he would suffer was a 'no?'

Because he didn't want to hear it. He would give up all hope for a yes for fear of hearing the word no, and that's why he was a coward.

_Someday_… he told himself. _One of these days, I'll be a brave man of the sea._

But not today.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Zoro was annoyed. Usopp's subtle spite toward him was annoying, the cook's sudden burst of abstinence was annoying. The fact that somehow a big mess of a theater drama had just presented itself on the Thousand Sunny was annoying. One hot night on the beach, and suddenly everything goes to shit.

So Usopp had a thing for the shitty cook. He didn't really see that one coming, but it was as obvious now as it was that night. Usopp probably wasn't doing it on purpose, but he was acting more distant from Zoro in general. Usually Usopp had a tendency to try and one-up him and everyone else, and he was always the first to call Zoro out when he did something stupid.

It wasn't avoiding, and he wasn't intentionally ignoring Zoro, but something was definitely different. Sometimes he'd catch Usopp looking at him like he was silently wondering something. Like Zoro was a problem or a roadblock he was trying to figure out how to solve.

And the cook…

Zoro bitterly scratched his head with a heavy frown. That was what annoyed him the most. He didn't like the thought of Sanji being with other guys, though he wasn't spending a lot of time reading into why.

When he found those two together on the beach that night, sure, he was a little pissed. Once he found out that a threesome was what Sanji after, and with Usopp, which he didn't have any real issues with, he was okay with it. He went with it.

But he didn't know Usopp had actual feelings for the cook, but he'd more than given it away since then.

Zoro didn't like it. He didn't know what to call this side of his relationship with Sanji… he wouldn't really have said they were lovers but it wasn't just casual sex either… or, at least, he didn't think so. But then, if it wasn't either or, what the hell was it?

Maybe it was just… effort. Maybe it was just casual sex now, and to begin with, but maybe he subconsciously saw it turning into something more, and maybe that's why his blood had begun to boil when he saw them that night.

They didn't really talk about what they did, but since it started they were talking _more_, and he'd actually begun to understand the idiot, just a little, maybe. So it couldn't have been just sex, things felt different than they were before, better. But maybe that cryptic cook had a different opinion.

After all, Sanji loved women, and supporting details for that statement were no longer necessary for someone who knew him as long as Zoro had. Maybe he was just in it for a quick orgasm, or maybe just because he was a raging pervert.

Zoro snorted.

Maybe he just put up with the pillow talk afterward to keep Zoro coming back, maybe he was faking the occasional air of respect that Zoro received from him. Maybe Sanji really was that heartless toward men… maybe he thought Zoro wouldn't mind.

If that were the case, Zoro felt more sorry for Usopp. Usopp had it bad, and he might not have been the only one in the crew who'd noticed- Sanji had obviously noticed, but others as well. But then, maybe Usopp had been Sanji's target all along, but that wouldn't explain why he went to Zoro first.

Still, if that were the case, this probably made Usopp his rival. And the thought of that should have made him want to laugh but right now he could only scowl at the clouds littered across the sky.

**A/N- Sorry about all the feelings. I'm just kind of rolling with this one… I got a lot more reviews for Beach and Sand then I'd expected, and so I whimsically read through some of it and when I got to the end I found myself wanting answers to the questions going through Usopp's mind in the last paragraph… so I guess this is an introduction of sorts to me writing them.**

**I really have no fucking idea how this is going to turn out. I can't promise SanUso. I can't promise ZoSan. I can't promise ZoSanUso. I can't promise you that the whole world won't flip over and suddenly there will be ZoSopp. I don't know where this is going to go and to be honest it's kind of exciting xD… I _can_ promise smut involving different combinations of these three characters, though.**

**Since this story started out as sort of a crackheaded guilty pleasure, I guess I'm just carrying on with more of the same. Read at your own risk- but I'll try not to get too carried away.**

**Thanks so much to everyone that reviewed, though! It made me happy!**


	3. No Dice

Nami mentioned something about someone she spoke to on the last island having let her know which island the log pose was most likely pointing too. It was apparently uninhabited, so the crew made sure to be well-stocked by the time they set sail, not knowing how long it would take to get there and how long they'd have to wait for it to reset.

It looked ordinary from the coast where they docked- in fact, the sandy outer beach and the jungle-like greenery a few yards in reminded him a lot of the island they'd been on when _it_ happened. It was a typical island look though, nothing too nostalgic or at least Usopp tried not to let it be.

"We don't actually have to go ashore, right?" He looked to Nami. "By some miracle we managed to keep Luffy out of the food stock so there's nothing we need." More importantly than any nostalgia, he was beginning to notice that these woods looked a little more dark and scary than the ones from the last island like it. Who knew what could be in there…

"Who cares if we don't have to, I'm not staying on the ship when this place looks like too much fun!" Luffy apparently over heard, and was already hopping up on the railing to jump off by the end of his speech.

"Wait!" Nami wagged an angry fist and Luffy stopped his bent knees mid-hop. "If you're going to go ashore for no reason, take someone with you, we don't need you getting lost!"

Luffy blinked, and then turned back to face the ship's deck. He scanned it, and found someone. "Hey Zoro, wanna come?" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the island.

"That doesn't really help…" Usopp barked. Zoro hadn't woken up anyway.

"Oh yeah. Forgot." Luffy's eyes bounced more to the right where he found Brook and Chopper just coming down the stairs. "Hey!" He waved. "You guys wanna go exploring with me?" He giggled like a madman and Brook and Chopper shared a smile before running toward him.

"Yeah let's go! This place looks awesome!" Chopper ran to the rail and looked over. "I wonder how thick that woods is."

Brook shortly laughed his signature "Yohoho" and sipped at the tea from his little tea cup. "It looks a little dangerous, doesn't it?" He spoke calmly as if observing pigeons eating bread crumbs.

"Yeah maybe there'll be some crazy plants or monsters or something." Luffy hopped down and hit the wet sand in a crouch.

"Monsters…?" Chopper was having second thoughts.

"Don't worry, Chopper-san, in life you have to take risks." Brook said his teacup and its plate down on the railing. "Not to mention, I'm sure there's nothing scarier than our captain in there, yoho!" He hopped over as well, and Chopper gave himself a quick nod and was quick to follow with newfound confidence and adventure in his eager eyes.

"Looks fun." Nami said as the three made there way toward the forest between playful shoves and hopping around between mainly Chopper and Luffy. "Sure you're not tempted?" She looked at Usopp- as she'd been certain he'd give in to the fun and go with them, but-

"What?" He hadn't heard what she said. He looked at her in confusion and blinked like he'd just come out of a thought bubble.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but she didn't say anything.

o-o-o-o

Waiting for the log pose to set and not having any idea how long it would take to do so was one of the most annoying parts about traveling the grand line. Luffy, Chopper, and Brook had spoken of having seen animals and there was likely vegetation on the island too, so they'd be all right regardless of how long it took. It was just a question of waiting for the day that you wake up and it's finally set.

But anyway, that was up to Nami, and until then it wasn't much like sailing the open sees as far as entertainment. But Usopp had been hoping for a town again, things and places to distract him, reasons to get away.

Sure, he could take a walk in the scary woods but there probably wasn't anything in there to catch his interest and he'd likely just end up thinking about you-know-who and you-know-what as he walked with nothing else to do.

He'd all but given up on saying anything to Sanji. It had been weeks since that night on the beach, and since then everything had gone back to normal. It was as if it never happened, like he'd just gone back to watching from a distance without bothering to hope. Except now he had the memories to deal with, of the hands on him, the lips on his, and how he felt inside him. It only left him wanting more.

And then there was Zoro, who he was beginning to notice a strange aura from as well. That was a little scary, if Zoro thought of him as competition, what if he just decided to cut Usopp in half? Well, he wouldn't, probably… unless he got really caught up in the moment or something.

It was halfway through the second day docked there, and all though they were all used to this sort of thing- not being able to move until the log pose permitted it, it never got any less boring. Luffy kept trying to have mini-adventures on the island but seemed to come back less enthused every day. It didn't seem like the place was very exciting even on Luffy's terms.

Just another boring week or however many days on another boring island with not even the terror of getting stranded in the vast open seas to spice things up. Not that he wanted that. But at least things would have been less predictable, kept him busy, maybe a storm here and there…

He scoffed and buried his palms in his eyes as he rubbed them.

"Hey Usopp." Shit, that voice…

"You're not doing anything, come help me find something for Luffy to eat." Sanji was dressed up with a backpack like he was ready for a hike. "We're just about out of meat and he's insisting on it."

Usopp snorted. "Why don't you make him go kill a sea king or something then. Just because you cook it doesn't mean you have to catch it."

"I've been wanting to get off the ship anyway, it's a good opportunity. I just want someone to help me carry it back."

Words were coming before Usopp thought about them. "Why not ask Zoro? He's probably just sleeping. He's stronger than I am at carrying stuff anyway."

Sanji snorted. "Don't talk like that lazy marimo is actually capable of anything. Besides, you're right here, it's convenient, right?" He hopped the railing and started down the rope ladder. Once his feet reached the sand he looked up at Usopp. "You coming or not?"

Convenient, huh?

"Yeah, I guess." Usopp put one leg over the rail and started to climb down.

"Well don't sound so excited." Sanji mumbled, and started toward the jungle-like mass of trees with Usopp trailing behind.

Trailing behind is most of what Usopp did for the first ten minutes of the walk. Sanji was up ahead, and he didn't say a word, or bother to look back and make sure Usopp hadn't been gobbled up by something. As time passed, Usopp's frown grew, and the back of Sanji's head was looking less and less appealing with every step. The rest of him may have been a different story but… he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. _Don't start looking._

Come to think of it, he hadn't gotten to see that much. Their position had been awkward, and the fire wasn't very bright, and by the time Sanji's clothes were off Zoro was covering him with his giant arms and torso like a blanket.

But he remembered his chest- his stomach, more muscular than he'd imagined—though he'd never believed Sanji was as skin and bones as he looked. Black apparently really was slimming, though, because he had abs. Usopp liked that. Though- not to the Zoro extreme, that sort of thing he just respected as being ideal for a man, maybe even strived for it himself. But as far as what he was attracted to, that was definitely the lean, long everything that was Sanji.

Suddenly, his face was in the dirt.

"You okay?" Sanji was standing over him, hands in his pockets, cigarette sticking upward from his lips with a nonchalant expression.

"Fine." Usopp huffed at himself as he got up. He needed to stop thinking about it. He needed to… talk about something.

He dusted himself off. "We've been out here a while." He grumbled. "I haven't seen anything, are you sure Luffy hasn't already eaten everything on this island?"

"We had a lot on the ship." Sanji shrugged. "We've barely started on the animals here now that the on board supply starting to get low." He started to walk again. "It's a dreary day though, maybe none of them feel like playing?" He offered this with a goofy grin over his shoulder.

Usopp felt his stomach plummet… sometimes Sanji was… what was that, how could he describe it, almost… cute? His heart sped up and he started to sweat, eyes fixed on the ground to try and focus on nothing… nothing at all.

Maybe… he wouldn't mind doing it again…? It didn't have to mean anything… or did it? Usopp didn't know… he knew what he wanted but not whether it was just going to hurt or-

"Wait." He ran into Sanji's outstretched arm and it stopped him. "I think I heard something." He turned his head to one side. Usopp watched his hair swing with the movement, and then stop still, tickling his neck halfway too the base. His eyes locked onto the skin there, and how close it was. He felt his breath pick up and started to lean in… another millimeter and his nose would have been in Sanji's hair. Which, irritatingly meant his lips were far away… he tilted his head and leaned in a little more.

His breath shook, and all he could comprehend with half-hooded eyes were his lips and that skin and how much he wanted them to be touching and how _close it was…_

"Usopp."

He squeaked, and his tongue darted out of his mouth as it often did when something startled him, and he froze.

"You're awfully close." Sanji said, his words slurred, lazy, like they just… were sometimes. Except right now it sounded sexy… sexual…

Usopp didn't move, didn't say anything, and before another thought entered his mind his back was against a tree with Sanji's body pinning it there.

They hadn't even kissed and his hips… he was rolling them, practically between Usopp's legs already because he was spreading them apart with each rotation and all Usopp could do was stare into those pools of blue and gape.

Sanji's fingers tangled in his hair on each side, and he stopped. He looked like he was going to say something- needed to get something out but all that came out was "Fuck."

It was quiet, whatever Sanji heard before must've left, because the only thing Usopp could hear was his breath. He didn't move his hips, he kept them planted, so Usopp could feel him hardening against the beginning of his own erection as Sanji tried to catch his breath and thoughts.

"Why are you stopping?" Usopp couldn't take it anymore, he tried to move and Sanji yanked his head back by his hair slightly to shut him up. "Sanji!" He whined and lifted a hand to Sanji's waist.

"I didn't know…" Sanji finally said, and his hands slid down to Usopp's wrists to push them away. "I mean, you told me… but I wasn't listening." He backed up. "I can't."

"S-Sanji…" Usopp didn't care anymore, he was horny and for the love of god Sanji had done that to him, so he needed to fucking finish it!

"Stop." Sanji said seriously. "It's not like it for me as it is for you. It's just…"

He watched Usopp's desperate, needy expression fall into one of sorrow, and had to look away.

"I'm sorry this happened." He mumbled, and turned around with thoughts to continue on their way.

Usopp knew what he was saying. Every part of him wanted to play stupid and say he didn't, but he knew, and at very least it killed his hard on right quick. A heart shattered by rejection has that effect.

But he had to know… "What about with Zoro?"

Sanji stopped.

"Is it like that for you with him?"

"No." Sanji shook his head. "Not for him either."

"Are you sure?" Usopp asked.

"I'm sure… I'm sorry but it's just not…"

"I mean about Zoro." Usopp's voice gained some confidence. "Are you sure he doesn't feel that way too? You know he'd never tell you."

"Then that's his problem." Sanji scoffed, digging into his pocket. "It's over with him anyway, I cut the bastard off." He pulled out a fresh cigarette and hastily click his lighter to light it up. "I'm done with all of it."

"Because I made it complicated…" Usopp's eyes downcast.

"Forget about it." Sanji let the smoke drag from his lips. Moments of uneasy silence passed, and Usopp shifted from foot to foot, wondering what to say…

"That night was fun." He finally said, shrugging. Sanji just wanted to walk away before he did something stupid again. Abstinence was hard, especially with Usopp, especially because he'd planned to do a lot more with Usopp, and a lot more than once after he'd finally gotten into the skittish sniper's pants. Usopp's body was like a fucking theme park compared to Zoro's, and all of it was new, uncharted. Zoro was mostly give with almost no take and always insisted on doing all the damn work. But he was sure that once Usopp was under him he'd be all take and that was a hell of a nice change of pace.

But now it was 100% off limits and he wanted to kick himself for thinking it was okay to be alone with him.

Regardless, he should've kicked Usopp for saying that, almost egging him on like that, but instead he could only agree.

"It was." He sighed after a drag, and didn't wait for a reply. "Come on, let's find something before Luffy tears the ship apart."

o-o-o-o-o

"Hurry, Zoro!" That was perhaps the only voice that could've roused him from sleep. "Sanji and Usopp brought back meat!" Just Luffy's head was visible poking up from below the trap door. As soon as Zoro's vision cleared, it disappeared.

_Sanji and Usopp brought back meat?_

Usopp and Sanji… brought back meat… Sanji and Usopp, Usopp and Sanji…

Zoro's eyes narrowed.

Why? Why those two? Why just those two? Why alone? For how long? What did they do out there besides find meat?

He stood up and started for the ladder. He needed to see them and observe their behavior, and then he'd find out what happened, if anything. There was no other good reason for that supposed sudden Virgin Mary cook to ask Usopp for help killing something and carrying it back. He couldn't lift more than his own body weight- if even that- and all he'd do as far as fighting was hide behind a tree.

So there was only on explanation. This was the first time Zoro had ever felt regret for having slept most of the day.

o-o-o-o-o

"We stopped because Sanji's legs were tired…"

The blatant lies that poured from Usopp's mouth in his obnoxious, proud deceitful voice lead Zoro straight to their location. Sanji's legs? Tired?

"… so he rested while I kept watch, and then all of the sudden the ground began to shake, and out of the trees came this giant—,"

"Slab of meat!" Luffy interrupted, and Usopp's epic story-telling voice faltered to explain.

"No, it wasn't a slab until Sanji cut it up… now, anyway, it appeared and I…"

"Did it taste good?" Chopper inquired with giant, hopeful eyes.

"I'm getting to that!"

"How, you haven't even eaten it yet." Sanji chimed in.

"Can I eat it now?" Luffy sprung up and landed next to Sanji to look over his shoulder at the roasting contraption Franky had set up with pointers from Sanji.

"No."

"Sanji!" Luffy flung his arms against Sanji's back and continued to slap him and be ignored.

Zoro's eyes narrowed. Things seemed relatively normal, but that didn't mean anything. They'd been able to act plenty normal after the last time in front of everyone else too, all that that meant was that it went well. They were interacting like friends, like usual.

"Sanji-san, care to tell us what really happened?" Brook stepped up beside the roast, observing it as if trying to deduce the answer to his question himself.

"Oi! What do you mean by that?" Usopp flailed.

"Nothing special." Sanji shrugged. "I just kicked it."

"Sanji's so cool!" Luffy pumped both fists into the air. "Feed me!"

Nothing special? Maybe that was true… but regardless, Zoro knew how to find out. He knew which one to confront, and he wasn't going to pussy-foot around the subject any longer. He hadn't done shit and now it was like the cook was making him the odd man out? Fuck that.

"Oh look, Zoro!" Luffy pointed. "Where's Nami and Franky?" He shouted to him.

"How should I know?" Zoro sat down quietly next to Chopper, who was across from Usopp in the grass on the deck. He cracked an eye open in Usopp's direction to find him looking straight at him, only to tense, shiver and look away under his gaze.

Zoro shut both eyes, and Luffy hummed thoughtfully as if having actually retained some meaningful part of this moment.

"Robin's gone now too, I think she went to find them." Chopper supplied helpfully.

o-o-o

Zoro gave up trying to read the situation, but he kept his eyes open for opportunities to confront Usopp without any interference. It was difficult when the guy was always goofing around with Luffy or Chopper or both, and sometimes even Sanji which pissed Zoro off and he wasn't going to bother denying why.

He found himself outcasted during most of the meal, too busy watching carefully to do much socializing. But he didn't do a lot of that anyway, still, sooner or later someone was bound to notice.

"You're quiet today, swordsman-san." Robin, of course.

"I'm tired." Zoro mumbled back, and Robin laughed. She watched the way his eyes narrowed and pursed his bottom lip slightly, as if annoyed and suspicious in the manner of a perturbed child wondering why someone would interrupt his brooding, what the ulterior motive was.

If any member of the straw hats had caught onto any of what was going on between Sanji, Usopp, and himself, it was Robin. And now here she was, probably about to sneakily interrogate him. He respected her ability to have it out of him before he knew what he was revealing well enough to admit his, or anyone's susceptibility to it.

Silence fell between them as they observed the rest of the crew side by side, as Usopp unwillingly played keep away with a hunk of meat and Luffy, and Chopper began to eat faster to avoid befalling the same fate once Luffy won. Brook and Nami seemed to be chatting pleasantly while Franky looked to be having a one-sided conversation with Sanji was he was busy seasoning the next serving of roast to get it going before the first disappeared.

The slap of meat that Usopp was flailing around finally flung from his hand, and slapped straight against the side of Sanji's face. The sauce coating made it stick there for a moment, and then slipped down to settle on his shoulder.

Luffy's arms stretched out and snatched it from his shoulder to shove it in his mouth, and Sanji grabbed his two-prong fork to try and impale the arm before it escaped.

"Idiots! I'll filet you!"

Luffy swallowed quickly and got up to run only to trip over Chopper whose eyes buldged in horror as the rubberman came down on him, reached out to grab onto Usopp's pantleg to save himself, only to pull the sniper down with him on top of the little reindeer.

Usopp ended up defeated and looking almost unconscious underneath Luffy, who was holding Chopper's body out in front of him for defense as Chopper tried desperately to hold Sanji back from stabbing the fork into Luffy's eye socket.

Robin snickered. "He's very versatile, isn't he?"

"Hm?" Zoro was hardly paying attention.

"Cook-san is." She went on, watching thoughtfully. "He's the type of person that seems like he can be the most and least of everything. On one hand he can be as diligent and focused on his passion as you are, and then suddenly he's acting like a child." She laughed behind her hand.

"I suppose that's why he gets along so well with everyone."

Nami had put an end to the nonsense among the four of them with her fists, and Sanji was half-consciously raising his arms to praise her.Regardless, he should've kicked Usopp for saying that, almost egging him on, but instead he could only agree.

"_It was." He sighed after a drag, and didn't wait for a reply. "Come on, let's find something before Luffy tears the ship apart."_

_o-o-o-o-o-o_

"_Hurry, Zoro! Sanji and Usopp brought back meat." Just Luffy's head had appeared from the floor boards, spoke this words, and then disappeared._

…_.._

_Sanji and Usopp brought back meat? Usopp and Sanji brought meat back. Sanji and Usopp. Usopp and Sanji._

_Zoro's eyes narrowed._

_Why? Why those two? Why alone? For how long? What did they do out there besides find food?_

_He stood up, because he needed to see them, observe their behavior, find out what happened. There was no other good reason for that cook to ask Usopp for help killing something or carrying it back. He couldn't lift more than his own body weight- if even that- and all he'd do as far as fighting was hide behind a tree. _

_So there was only one other explanation. This was the first time Zoro had ever felt regret for having slept most of the day._

Zoro scoffed. "He's just a stupid eyebrow that doesn't know which way to look."

Robin smiled knowingly. "Would you be satisfied if he were only looking at you?"

Zoro just continued to frown. Partly because of what Robin said and how he'd known from the beginning that something like that was coming, and partly because Sanji was in the process of helping Usopp up out of his pathetic state.

"Nagahana-kun is a bit like that too, but I suppose he gets it from the captain." She went on just as Zoro went on frowning. "They're a bit alike, don't you think?"

Zoro snorted, because Usopp? Like _Luffy?_ Yeah right, they were polar opposites aside from perhaps their maturity level.

But nothing annoyed him more than the fact that Nico Robin had just gone out of her way to speak to him, seemingly nonchalantly about Sanji and Usopp specifically. It wasn't a coincidence. If she didn't already know something, she definitely sensed it.

"Robin!"

Her eyes flicked up at the sound of the voice.

"What are you doing way over there? Brook picked up this magazine for us and for once it's not filled with nothing but lacey underwear!" Nami practically bounced over and opened it in front of her. "I need a second opinion on these shoes."

Robin smiled, and nodded with a simple 'yes' to them.

"Really? Not too tacky?" Nami started to pull her away, and for once Zoro was grateful to her for something.

o-o-o-o

Usopp knew that sometimes Sanji caught him looking. Even though he'd been rejected, now that everything had been laid out in plain sight, it was easier to look. Easier to deal with the idea of getting caught, because there was nothing hidden to reveal. Except maybe that his little obsession ran deeper than he'd ever let on, but that was well buried.

To be honest he hadn't given up. Sanji didn't explain himself anything close to properly, and he wasn't about to throw in the towel when there was still a chance. Not when he knew Sanji wanted him, at least one way… and especially not when his competition seemed content just sitting on the side lines.

Zoro was watching, though, his eyes were glued to Sanji like a hawk throughout the entire meal and the aftermath, and Usopp was almost flabbergasted that Sanji hadn't noticed yet.

"Usopp. Pay attention or you're going to lose something." Nami's voice interrupted his thoughts just in time to find Luffy's outstretched arm hovering over his plate, about to snatch up a section of his meat.

"Get away!" He grabbed the arm by its wrist and held it down against the grass just in time.

"Come on, Usopp!" Instead of pulling his hand back, Luffy let his body retract to his wrist and snapped himself Indian style right in front of Usopp's plate. "You weren't even eating it."

"I was going to, now leave me alone!" Usopp grabbed the slab of meat and held it far away from Luffy's face, afraid he'd just open up and swallow the whole thing right there if he didn't.

"Gimme!" Usopp's gesture only seemed to excite the hungry captain. He grabbed for it with flailing hands. Usopp kept moving it further away but with every inch Luffy was crawling over him to try and get at it. The stretch in his arms gave him an even bigger advantage and before Usopp knew it he was yanking and swinging his arm left and right just to hold onto his meal.

_Dinner shouldn't have to be like this…_ he cried in his mind… _Why can't I just enjoy food for once without…_

Suddenly, his hand felt very empty. He flexed his fingers to make sure, and found nothing there. Had Luffy gotten it?

He looked at the rubberman's face, to find that he wasn't chewing on anything, and that he was now looking peculiarly in another direction. Usopp became curious of what distracted him, and turned to look-

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the death glare he was receiving… though it was slightly comical with that thick sauce plastered to his cheek.

Regardless, Usopp knew that even though it wasn't his fault at all, he'd be blamed. Food had been ruined and Sanji had been humiliated in Nami and Robin's presence… no doubt he was out for blood.

Usopp took off fast, and managed to gain his footing. He was sure he was going to escape, sure that Luffy would be caught and take the fall for him. First step into full speed and—

Something yanked him backward by his pant leg, and he hit the ground with his nose in the dirt, and something extremely heavy on top of him.

"Sanji! Calm down! No stabbing! Sanji!" Somehow Chopper had ended up in this mess? "That's for cooking! Cooking!" Chopper was going hysterical with desperation, and Usopp pulled his face out of the dirt to find him holding Sanji back from impaling Luffy's eyeball with a two-prong fork.

After a chorus of Luffy barking at Chopper to get off him as Chopper kept screaming "Not hands! Not hands!" Silence suddenly fell.

"Can't we ever eat in peace?" He heard Nami muttering angrily, and decided that meant the three of them had been punished. Usopp was glad he'd already looked knocked out, or he might've gotten some too. Even though it completely wasn't his fault at all.

"Deepest apologies, Nami-san! But your fists are as strong and convincing as ever!" Sanji's slightly disgruntled sing-song voice rang out, and Usopp rolled his eyes. When he rolled over, Sanji was already on his feet, dusting himself off. Luffy was still wiped out on the ground, probably having received a few extra punishments being that he was the one that started it.

Usopp got up half-way, and then paused when Sanji looked back at him, and their eyes met over his shoulder. He turned the rest of the way around, and held out his hand. "Come on, long nose." He said, and Usopp weakened at the sound of his voice and the sight of that out-stretched hand. His touch… his hands…

Hazily, he reached out and let Sanji pull him to his feet, eyes unable to look anywhere but his face. And yeah, that time Sanji definitely noticed.

He released Usopp's hand nonchalantly, and reached into his pocket to pull out and light up a cigarette. He took a drag slowly, released it, and then looked Usopp hard in the eye. Usopp blinked, startled by the aggressive expression…

"Stop it." Sanji said, quietly, but harshly, like an absolute demand, and then he walked away to continue the seasonings for the second serving.

o-o-o-o

**A/N – D A DA DA DAAAA! I updated this! Hooray! Pretty much smutless chapter… I know I promised smut in this one, but I can't just toss it in randomly everywhere without explanation can I? I mean… okay I'm probably doing that to some degree with this shit no matte what but I'd like to keep it on an as dignified level as possible :D.**

**So yeah, I was thinking some ZoSopp in the next chapter actually… I don't know, you guys even like ZoSopp? Too fucking bad, you're getting it.**

**Oh—and—er, it's actually been a while since I've watched One Piece… uh… I'm hoping this is still in character, but I'm kind of winging it. Hahaha.**

**ANYWAY. Love and appreciate the reviews guys 3. Even ten months later. Kisses and hugs!**


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